Oral Histories: Kumiko

My name is Kumiko Mendl. My mother is from Japan and my father’s family were Jewish and he was born in Germany and came here when he was about nine as refugee so they were quite fortunate, as they left before Kristallnacht and they were from Berlin.

And yes, I have two families in Japan. I’ve had two Japanese mothers. My first biological mother was Japanese and she died in 1972 but fortunately my father married another Japanese woman so I’ve had two Japanese mothers.

My father always said he was very cocooned because of his eyesight. He had really bad eyesight as a child, so he was in a special school, he wasn’t in a mainstream school, so his life was lived in his head, he had a massive imagination, he was into history and kings and… And he wanted also to join the Hitler Youth which is like what most young kids wanted to join at the time, he loved armies and they would go marching and they had uniforms and they couldn’t understand why his mother wouldn’t let him join and then also why his mother didn’t put out the flag, the swastika flag, she would fly the old German flag…

I think I’ve explored more my Japanese side because of the work I do. I think as an actor you’re confronted with your identity whether you like it or not because casting people, people who are looking for roles, your agent, wants to know where you’re going to be placed. Are you going up for a Japanese part…they look at you and go “We’ll have your on our books because you could be the Japanese person!” and you know, and it’s like well I’m not very Japanese!

I used to say it’s like falling between two stools, I’m not one or the other. And there were very few parts for sort of… I used to think I’m a contemporary Londoner, it’s London it’s just normal. In schools, where my sons go, it’s just normal. Back then, when I was an actor, it was difficult.

And then I obviously I had the German side and I did German A-Level. We didn’t speak German at home but I purposefully had to spend some time with my father speaking German, you know. And I spent quite a bit of time in Germany.

The first time I went I was in Year Six in Primary School, so we went to Berlin and we met his nanny, because he was from quite a wealthy family, wealthy once upon a time. His nanny was still there, and she was the only person they had any connection with. Because everybody else had to go or was sent to the camps I suppose….

I went to University in Norwich which in the 80s was like a National Front stronghold. So there were pubs you didn’t go to. And I had friends.. Black friends in university who didn’t go off campus who didn’t feel safe in the town. I do remember one incident which was in the car park of the castle, there was a castle car park in the middle of town.. And we were trying to get into this car parking space and I saw it and this other car saw it and I was ahead so I went in and they were really angry so they called me a black c-word, they called me a black c—-t, “you f—-ing…!” It was just jaw dropping, I was like “what?!”

I also remember the caretaker at my junior school telling me, saying one day “oh you’re a child of the enemy” and I was like “what, what’s he talking about?” and then going away and thinking, oh, Japan and Germany, yes I suppose, ‘the enemies’, and that was quite alienating, that was quite strange and I always felt I was a bit different in school.

I felt my Jewishness wasn’t so overt, my Japaneseness because of my name I suppose people identified me as different. I’d spent a year away in primary school and then when we came back my mother died so it was all very weird, you know. It was just strange. I didn’t really form very strong relationships with anyone. I was sort of friendly with everybody but I didn’t have any deep relationships or strong relationships. And my parents were definitely odd compared to everyone else’s!

My mother had mental health problems, my first mother, so she wasn’t around, she was hospitalised a few times and I’m now getting a fuller picture, though not a full picture, because my father has passed on, and after she died…all her pictures were taken away and no one talked about it because in those days no one talked.

I suppose being brought up here, Japan was the enemy, and the atrocities that Japan committed during the war which were undeniable, and the stuff that happened in South East Asia too under imperialist rule, people were more like “you should be apologising to me!”

My second mother’s family is from Hiroshima. She was there, she remembers it as three year old but she was in the countryside when the bomb was dropped. But her aunt was actually on her way into Hiroshima. Because of the war they’d already been evacuated into the countryside, but her aunt was going into town across one of the bridges - you know there’s all those bridges - and the cart and horse in front of her caught fire and tumbled into the water, and apparently her kimono caught fire and she just turned and ran back out of the city.

I suppose my closest family is probably my theatre family. I mean I do think the space [we have created] is really important, a safe and supportive space. I mean, I've just come away from a meeting this year's summer school here and the and how and just with it reminds me if I need reminding how important it is for people to be able to come together and work together in this way, I think. Yeah. I mean, the racism that's come through from the pandemic, I personally didn't experience anything, but just about every other person I know has at some point during that period. And I think, you know, and I also I think, you know, in terms of mental health needs and support, it's just it's just exasperated everything. I mean, it's a really difficult industry to be in any way, the theatre industry or entertainment industry, whatever you like to call it. It's very it's... And I think one of the things that people find is that as a freelancer, you feel very lonely. You don't have connections, you don't know well when you're starting out, at least you don't have any connections. And you know, how do you make your way in this crazy space? So having something where people can come and feel, feel comfortable and not have to explain yourself and not feel like you're the only one, you know, because I suppose most decisions used to stepping into a space and you're the only, say, South East Asian or whatever, which is fine. But some people find, you know, it's just a completely different feeling and the bonding that happens, even though people have come from very different, you know, backgrounds and countries, there is this still commonality. I mean, there's a whole history of yellowface. So it's sort of like, you know, it's like blackface. You wouldn't people wouldn't think of putting white people into black roles now. You'd hope not. Not in this country. And it's slowly happening with East Asian roles, you know, but it's because people have made a stand and said, no, actually, this isn't on because there are East and Southeast Asian actors and, you know, it is offensive to see someone, you know, made up trying to be... And putting on an accent or whatever. So, yeah, so that's what we're...you know, we're trying to shift mindsets and things.